No work!?

So I realized a couple of days ago that it has been 2 years and 10 months since I've worked. (And by work I mean punch a time clock and get a paycheck.) This was an interesting realization for me. This is the longest I've gone without a "job" since I was 16, and I am sure I have worked harder in the last 2 years than I had at any other job I have had in my life! When I was pregnant, I counted down the days until I would leave the workforce "for good" with near epic proportions of excitement. I couldn't wait to stay home and be a wife and mother, and not have to deal with the drudgery of a M-F job, meeting quality requirements, taking lunch at a set time, etc... Now, 2 years later, I still love being a wife and mommy, but there are brief moments that I miss the workforce. I miss the set schedule, the organization, the clear expecations, the employee handbook! Parenting and marriage don't have a handbook (although the Bible has a lot to say on these topics,) and sometimes I feel as though I fall far short of the job description, even though I've never seen one. Knowing that, Lord willing, it will be at least another 20 years before I rejoin the workforce (if I ever do) is both encouraging and daunting. Encouraging in the fact that I get to continue to care for my small family full-time for many more years, and daunting because I get to care for my small family full-time for many more years. Our hope is that our family will grow... and with that will come new challenges, new stress, new pressure, new excitement, new joys, new opportunities to grow and mature and learn to rely wholly on my heavenly Father. But also with that will come more opportunities for me to blow it big time, and another little person for which I will be responsible, for better or worse. My sincere prayer is that I would learn the lessons God is so lovingly trying to teach me, and that I would be a better wife and mother because of it, but my fear is that my hard-headed, stubborn, Billings blood will prevent me from seeing the grace extended to me, and in turn extending that grace to my family. The verse that says God punishes the sins of the fathers to the 3rd and 4th generations is true... and I am living proof of the stubborness and rebellion that has been in my family's blood for many years. I hope and pray that this will not continue into Princess, or any other children we may have, but that God in His infinite power would start now, with my children, a strong legacy of faith, of humility, and of surrender to His will. I am trying so desperately to be an example of this to Josh and Princess, but it is so difficult to crucify the sinful nature in me... the "I'm gonna do it my way or die trying" mentality. I have come a long way in mellowing my temperment, thanks to Josh and the Holy Spirit, but I have a long way to go... (and no comments from the peanut gallery on this!)
Ultimately, I want His will to be done, and I want my children to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ...
Phillips, Craig and Dean hit it on the head with their hit
"I want to be just like you"

He climbs in my lap for a goodnight hug
He calls me Dad and I call him Bub
With his faded old pillow and a bear named Pooh
He snuggles up close and says, >I want to be like you<
I tuck him in bed and I kiss him goodnight
Trippin' over the toys as I turn out the light
And I whisper a prayer that someday he'll see
He's got a father in God 'cause he's seen Jesus in me

Lord, I want to be just like You
'Cause he wants to be just like me
I want to be a holy example
For his innocent eyes to see
Help me be a living Bible, Lord
That my little boy can read
I want to be just like You
'Cause he wants to be like me

Got to admit I've got so far to go
Make so many mistakes and I'm sure that You know
Sometimes it seems no matter how hard I try
With all the pressures in life I just can't get it all right
But I'm trying so hard to learn from the best
Being patient and kind, filled with Your tenderness
'Cause I know that he'll learn from the things that he sees
And the Jesus he finds will be the Jesus in me
Right now from where he stands I may seem mighty tall
But it's only 'cause I'm learning from the best Father of them all