Thoughts on Family

So I realized a few nights ago that it has been forever since I blogged. We have been so busy with everything… traveling to Florida for the holidays, and then buying and remodeling a house, it seems I haven’t had much time for anything else! Last night there came to mind something that I wanted to write about, and I remembered my blog… so here it is. J

Family is on my mind. Not so much particular family members, but rather, what it means to be a family. Growing up, I, like many, had people in my life that I called “Uncle” or “Aunt” who were not actually that, but were simply close friends of the family, so rather than call them Mr. and Mrs. So-and-so, we called them “Aunt” and “Uncle.” This seems to be a pretty common thing, and if you didn’t do this yourself growing up, I’m sure you know someone who did. As I got older, I had other women I called “Mom” as well. My own mother use to joke that I collected Moms. But she always said that she was so grateful for these women, as the old saying, “it takes a village to raise a child” really is the best way to go. These women were a vital and special part of my life, especially during times when my Mom was unable to be there. One of these women worked from home, and so when I would have to come home from school sick, she would come get me and I would spend the afternoon on her couch until my Mom got off of work. It was so much easier for her to have me at her house than for my Mom to have to leave work, and her children often distracted me from how bad I felt. When I was a senior in high school, my Grandma fell ill, and my Mom often had to travel out of town to care for her. One of the other women I adopted as a “mom” let me stay in her home as often as necessary, sometime for weeks at a time.

According to dictionary.com, the word family is defined as “any group of persons closely related by blood, as parents, children, uncles, aunts, and cousins.” According to this definition, these women, and the others in my life that I referred to as family are really not. However, another definition for the word family is “a group of people who are generally not blood relations but who share common attitudes, interests, or goals and, frequently, live together.” This definition more closely fits these people in my life.

Now, on to what spurred this all in the first place. My daughter Princess is not talking yet, but I have been trying to get in the habit of referring to my friends the way she will address them. We have several sets of friends that we asked them if they would like to be “Uncle and Aunt” to Princess instead of “Mr. & Mrs. So-and so.” These people are our dearest friends, and we are so grateful that they are in our life, and in our daughter’s life. One of my dear friends and I were discussing the other night why we have these “adopted” family members, and she brought up the most wonderful point! She said that when she was a kid, she called her Mom’s friends “Mrs. So-and-so. “ Even though they might have been nice and someone she liked, they were always her Mom’s friends, not hers. They weren’t people she felt she had a relationship with apart from her Mom’s friendship with them. Take a minute and think about your parent’s friends when you were growing up. Didn’t you generally feel the same way about them? What my friend pointed out is that an aunt or an uncle is usually someone that you feel that you have a relationship with, that you can go to when you have a problem, that you can talk to and share with. This is the kind of relationship I want Princess to have with these people that she will call “aunt” or “uncle.” I know that kids don’t always want to talk to their parents about things, and while I hope and pray I will always have the kind of relationship with my children where they will come to me with anything, I also want them to know there are others they can go to when they have a problem. These are people that I love and trust, and know that they will always look out for my kids best interest and will give them sound Godly advice and encouragement. This is why I want Princess to be able to call these friends of ours “aunt” and “uncle.” I want her to know that her family is much bigger than the 4 grandparents, 2 uncles and 2 aunts she has because of blood and marriage. I want to know that there is a village to help raise my child and encourage and love her the way I was encouraged and loved by the village that my Mom and I surrounded me with. This was an “ah-hah” moment for me in why we do the things we do, like adopt people into our families like this. And thinking back to the first definition of family, those who are related by blood, this would fit these extended members of our family as well in the fact that we all share in the blood of Christ, and are thus all members of one family. And for these people, and this relation, I am eternally grateful. To all of the adopted members of my family... I love you, and thank you! :)